Turned down in Melbourne

Not being accustomed to luxurious living I was, until very recently, blissfully unaware of the existence of 'turn down' services. The first I heard about it was on the flight to Melbourne when I watched Michael MacIntyre's standup show. In his words, it is when rich people pay poor people to fold back their duvet for them before they get into bed.

Little did I suspect that when I answered a knock on my door on monday evening I was going to be offered just such a service. With MacIntyre's mockery of this absurd activity fresh in my mind I declined, turning down the turn down service.

After a closer examination of my bed I regretted my decision. The service had clearly been provided without my knowledge on previous days and I was quite shocked to see that my bed was in a distinctly un-turned down state.  At some point during the day an intruder had entered my room and supplemented my already entirely adequate pillow collection, festooning the bed  with an array of enormous square units.

Feeling daunted by the prospect of finding a location in which to stow these unwanted fridge-sized cushions, I came within a whisker of ripping the door open and sprinting down the hall after the char lady, pleading with her to return and relieve me of this unexpectedly onerous duty.

I had no hesitation in accepting the offer of a turn down service tonight.